Pausing With God

There is a poem by Teresa Mahieu that I choose to help give you a snippet of my mom, Lula Alexander.  The beauty of a woman is not in… the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman, is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, the beauty of a woman with passing years—only grows.

My mom left an imprint in our hearts, especially during the years as a stay at home mother, which was sometimes a blessing and then other times a curse. My misfortune was when I decided to take my own personal day (without permission) and when she was home to intercept those phone calls from the school.  The blessing was that she was there to take care of us. She didn’t stay at home because we were rich or well of, by no means; but she knew that these years were a priceless sacrifice that she was willing to pay. 

During my adolescent years, there was a time when I felt that I was the black sheep in the family and that I was being treated differently by my mother. The light came on as I was raising my own kids. During their upbringing, I reflected on and pulled from how my mom reared me.  She in her own way was teaching me how to be a strong, independent, God serving woman.  One of the best things she has ever said to me, which I tell my adult kids and grandchildren to this day is, “I can show you better than I can tell you”. At the time, I didn’t really understand what that meant. I thought that meant it’s spanking time. No, she didn’t spare the rod, but what mom really meant was that she showed us love, strength, wisdom, loyalty and to trust God in everything you do.

She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. She does know how to dress and how to carry herself. Her soul reflects her true beauty that is still sown from her love of God. She doesn’t share with just her own family, but it is for whomever she has an opportunity to share with.

She is my foundation and my rock. I’m blessed, so thankful and honored to be the daughter of Lula Bell Wiggins Alexander.

Intercessors In The Making

We entered class as strangers and left as sisters in Christ! Class is dismissed and we are Intercessors for the glory of God!  What Happens When Women Pray….watch out!

Aging has given me a clearer understanding of the ups and downs of being a mom. I know that I could never have walked in her shoes. The strength I have as a woman, mother, friend and Christian, is rooted and fueled from Sylvia Dowdy (my mom). As I reflect at the challenges that she has experienced in her life, I am amazed how she made it through and overcame with such dignity.
Even though I am 50+ years old, I still get them. The calls, voice messages and texts.
“Where are you, it’s dark.” I chuckle because I’m reminded that she loves me just as much, as an adult, as she did when I was a child.
As I reflect at the challenges that she has experienced in her life, I am amazed how she made it through and overcame with such dignity.
Even though I am 50+ years old, I still get them. The calls, voice messages and texts.
“Where are you, it’s dark.” I chuckle because I’m reminded that she loves me just as much, as an adult, as she did when I was a child.
I still enjoy our talks, our laughs and even our tears. Thank you, God, for my lil lady, meddling as she may be   I  wouldn’t change this journey or the many more to come!

As I reflect at the challenges that she has experienced in her life, I am amazed how she made it through and overcame with such dignity.
Even though I am 50+ years old, I still get them. The calls, voice messages and texts.
“Where are you, it’s dark.” I chuckle because I’m reminded that she loves me just as much, as an adult, as she did when I was a child.
I still enjoy our talks, our laughs and even our tears. Thank you, God, for my lil lady, meddling as she may be   I  wouldn’t change this journey or the many more to come!

I was born on November 30, 1974 in Bridgeport Connecticut to teenage parents who met each other at Harding High School in Bridgeport, CT.

My mother, Linda Evelyn Moore, was only fifteen and my father, James Edward Jennings, was seventeen.

My mother’s parents divorced when she was 2 years old and she went to live with her paternal grandparents. Her father worked a lot and although he didn’t live far from his parents, my mother saw him only once in a while. My mother’s mother chose to “move on with her life”, having other children and visited my mother only occasionally.

STANDING IN THE GAP

Standing in the gap for her 8 beautiful children and grandmother to twenty of the most joyful and jolly rugrats is our matriarch, Angela R. Tunsill.

My siblings and I are close in age, but this never seemed to be a challenge for our mom. We all felt and still know that we are all equally loved. Growing up, mom made sure we were well dressed and feed ‘really’ good. Our home was filled with laughter, it was an environment where we were able to talk about anything.

As a twenty-eight-year-old, married mother of three; I am proud to say I still seek my mother’s approval, as well as advice.  My mom has been the example and set a standard which I implement as I fashion my own family.

Our mother has had her fair share of challenges. Dark days where she lost hope, wanted to give up and frequently asked, “Why me?” Strangely enough, these seasons of her life, motivated and strengthened her. 

Our mom always said, “When you all grow up, I want you all to be better than me.”  She knew we saw her struggles, the abuse and trying to make ends meet with little to nothing.  I know what she meant, as I find myself struggling from time to time, having a family of my own, while assisting the upbringing of my nieces and nephew.

This year has been a frustrating and exasperating one  for her.  Two of her children, who went astray are now incarcerated. In addition, all in the same year;  three different grandchildren passed away.  But in the midst of her tears,  her  questioning why, what did she do to deserve this, where did she go wrong, she remains the backbone for our family.

The trauma and the loss of a loved one has the ability to break  anyone, but not my mom. When you look at her,  she doesn’t   look like what she is going through. She continues  to stand  with her head held high and a smile on her face.

My mom means the world to me, and if I could give her the world, I would. She deserves it all and so much more.  Angela R. Tunsill,  you are a Woman Of Excellence, I love you mom!

For most of us as adolescence we were told about puberty, menstruation and pregnancy; but not about menopause.  It’s humorous that it took us almost 12 years to get to puberty and only 12 consecutive months to confirm that we are menopausal.

Menopause is the time when a woman’s menstrual period ends. Menopause is considered complete when a woman has been without her period for one year. Menopause can occur any time between ages 40 and 60. On average, it occurs at age 51.

By the year 2030, it is expected that there will be 1.2 billion women who are 50 years of age or older. That means there will be a large amount of females embarking on their journey through menopause.

With these statistics, regardless if one is peri (the time in a woman’s life shortly before menopause), meno (the ceasing of menstruation) or post(the time after which a woman has experienced twelve (12) consecutive months without a period); it is in our best interest to connect with as many sister-friends as we can.

I suffered in silence for a long time because Menopause in the past has not been a subject matter that is generally spoken about. But in the last 10 years or so it is coming to the forefront and we will continue to pause and share so that women realize that in this season of their lives they are not alone!

It may not seem like it in the midst of the hot flash or night sweat but there is light at the end of the tunnel for Menopause is a season of preparation for the latter part of our lives!
My story is shared in Pausing With God A Journey Through Menopause. Available in English and Spanish,,  Get your copy here.

It is something to lose someone any time of year, but I say a special prayer for those who have lost a loved one during or around the holiday season(s).

The other day, we were jolted by the news of another childhood friend had passed away. Though we hadn’t kept in touch, it was ironic that a few weeks ago, out of the blue, she sent me a very encouraging message on social media. We conversed, and both probably thought to ourselves, we have to do better with staying in touch. But life interrupted and any chance of that is now gone.

Continue reading “Thankful” →

I will assume there are several women out there who are like me who prefer a female OB/GYN.  My reason though it is humorous now, was not funny at first.  My story began, years ago when I was a KIDS Church leader. It was time for my annual check-up and so off to the doctors I went.  After completing the check-in ritual, I was shown to the examination room where put on the designer gown and patiently waited for my doctor to come in.

Continue reading “Dr. Who?” →

How Should A Breast Self-Exam Be Performed?

1) In the Shower

Using the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.

Continue reading “Breast Self-Exam” →